The other week, my sister and I decided to get pedicures together -I know, how sweet. This outing actually occurred because she and my brother-in-law had been giving me grief for weeks about my sad excuse for toenail polish. I don’t think I had paid any attention to my feet since March. I guess that’s kind of unacceptable considering I spend 9 months of the year in California. But this is all beside the point and now you know more than you ever wanted to about my foot hygiene. I can’t help it, I’m trying to pass the time at work.
The nail salon was short-staffed, so I had to wait while my sister’s feet got all pretty. Instead of sitting there trying not to make awkward body movements as the massage chair propelled my chest 3 feet forward, I picked up a tattered People magazine and read all about Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s wedding a few months ago.
So here’s my fun story: Pete Wentz used to be in love with me. I’ll give you a few minutes to digest this monumental news - I know that your blood pressure just skyrocketed. And I’ve got a pretty gnarly bit of food stuck in my teeth, so take all the time you need.
So when did this one-sided love saga begin? During my “I’m punk rock” phase of high school, I discovered the band Fall Out Boy and went to several of their shows in Dallas. This was way before they were on TRL or all over the radio - there were about 100 people max at these concerts.
At one of their shows, I saw Pete standing by himself at the bar after their set, so I sauntered right over to him and started a conversation (I was a lot more confident than I am now). And this is where the magic started, his adoration for me was obvious. Like fresh young lillies sparkling in the morning dew - oh. Sorry. We talked for a while and he even suggested that we take a picture together. Isn’t young love precious?
I left the club that night without giving Pete my number. I know that he was probably devastated, but an attractive and oft-pursued young woman like myself cannot be bothered by traditional flirting etiquette. And I think it’s for the best, right?
I hope Ashlee has helped mend his broken heart, but I’m fairly certain that he still thinks about me. Do you see the way that she is clinging to him in the above picture? And how he has a coy look on his face that just screams, “I AM THINKING ABOUT AMANDA”? I see it, too.
Sigh. I wish him well. Good riddance, Petey.
Surely to have a picture, right? Right?
And, if you do, surely it involves a great deal of eyeliner.
Hahahaha, that is an excellent story. I want to see the picture! I can’t remember ever seeing it!
Sorry, I was too into Jesse Lacey/Adam Lazarra to care.
Until this moment I didn’t even know why Pete Wentz was famous - he’s in Fall Out Boy. Ha! I must be old. Thanks for enlightening me.