Wardrobe requirements

Tuesday was my first real day of work. I thought about what I would wear days in advance and set my complete ironed outfit out the night before. I wore a fancy schmancy skirt, a cute maroon shirt, and my favorite dressy heels. I marched into the hospital raring to go and feeling like pretty hot stuff (because the place is in the ghetto and everyone else looks so dreary) with my heels all clapclapclapping. They make me sign in at a certain office every day, so I signed my name in my best penmanship as someone rudely said, “Do you have a change of shoes?” … I’m thinking, ohhh, haha, how adorable, this woman thinks my shoes are so cute that she wants me to change so that she can wear them!

No. She glares at me and says that I cannot wear open-toed shoes in the hospital, it is strictly forbidden. Is Ashton Kutcher lurking behind the door? Am I on Candid Camera? She then proceeds to CALL MY BOSS to ask whether she should send me home or not. Lady, I wore a uniform for 12 years and never once got in trouble for my skirt being too short or for wearing the wrong shoes. I don’t even work IN the hospital with the patients - I work in a separate building that is just offices! And my feet do NOT have toe rot or some other nasty disease, thanks for assuming.

That was an infuriating and unnecessary 20 minutes of my life. Eventually when I saw my boss she said no big deal, it was her fault for forgetting to inform me. I really like her so far. But unfortunately, that was not the end of talking about my wardrobe that day. Another lady told me that all females are required to wear “stockings” every day. Whaaaa? The suggestion of such activity hurt my sensitive ears. I will absolutely not be abiding by that rule. The shoes I can somewhat tolerate - even though I shoved 3 pairs of “open-toed” heels into my suitcase - but I will not be doing the crazy leg squats/gyrations required to put on pantyhose. Who knew I was such a rebel?