Because it’s good to be reminded

I struggle for words lately. I’ve been struggling for words for a while. So I drown myself in music, in between choruses and rhythm and the continuous tapping of my foot that makes the days bearable. I drown myself in others’ words. In poems, in articles that I stumble upon, in blog posts that hit too close to home.

Tonight, I was searching for a needle and thread (what up, domesticity) and came across a letter my mom wrote me when I graduated high school. All of our families were instructed to write us letters that we got to open on our senior retreat, and I am so thankful for that cheesy, cheesy tradition (or what I hope has become a tradition, anyway).

I’ve carried my mom’s letter from seven years ago through multiple moves and across several state lines but I haven’t re-read it again until tonight. I vaguely remembered some of her words, but reading it again at this point in my life was almost more emotional than it was that day that I sat in a field in East Texas and felt my heart swell.

An excerpt:

“… I’m proudest of the fact that you have the same kind and generous spirit that you were born with… So, my dear and beautiful child, I can only say: I truly hope that you keep doing what you’re doing, for all of your long and interesting life. Know that you are growing up in a way that makes me know you will be just fine. You can handle anything life throws at you. To say I am proud is an understatement. To know you is a joy!”

My mom is awesome.

Sometimes I don’t have the words, but I’m trying to be easy on myself. There is such a comfort in collapsing into the tried and true thoughts of others who are so much more eloquent, who tell me that it will be okay.

Hitting Refresh

(via NanLawson. I bought this print a few weeks back at the Renegade Craft Fair and it’s my motto for the New Year.)

Dear 2011,

You were kind of a doozy and I’m not sure I want to be your friend anymore. However, you took me to a lot of cool places and made me realize how cool I am. So maybe I do love you a little but you started to overstay your welcome.

Peace out,

Amanda

P.S. In 2012, I resolve to: eat more chocolate, drink more wine, discover some new jams, and have more dance parties – whether they be with others or by myself. Amen.

Quarter Century

Tomorrow (Friday), I will have been alive for 25 years. Ho-ly shit, y’all. That is a lot of Amanda time and I’m not so sure how I feel about it.

I’ve always been the baby.

Gratuitous baby photo. I'm the small one with t-rex arms.

But now I’m old, and my vocabulary is more likely to include the words: Escrow, mortgage, HMO, pantsuit, and atherosclerosis. Other likely candidates? Red Lobster, Prilosec, and Rite Aid.

Regardless, I will now write a tribute to myself. That’s only fair, right? It’s been a good quarter-century.

Some important milestones:

• I have seen approximately 87 Jack’s Mannequin shows.
  

  my homeboy

• I’ve visited 27 states, 3 continents, and 10 countries. Booyah.
• I became a vegetarian. And then I stopped.
• I learned how to be a lady from one of the greatest women I’ve ever known.

My sassy grandma

• I changed my hair color no less than 7,000 times. It’s a bit of a Christmas miracle.
• I left everything familiar and moved to the West Coast.

• I got Scuba certified.
• I was the Maid of Honor in my sister’s wedding.

• I went to the Sundance Film Festival. Benjamin Bratt refused to give me his autograph.
  

  yo yo, A.Poeh

• I learned how to ask for a raise. And how to get it, frick yeah.
• I held a lot of spectacularly awful jobs and had batshit crazy roommates. Someday I will write short stories about them, David Sedaris style.
• I haven’t grown up.

Thursday afternoon gratitude

Across the street from my work, there is a church. Every second Thursday of the month when I venture through downtown San Diego on my lunch break, I notice a long line that curves around the church and down the street. There are people of all kinds–some in wheelchairs, some with children and strollers, some that look just like me. I’m not certain what happens on these Thursdays, but I assume that the church gives away free food to those who need it.

Every time, I’m amazed by the numbers of people. I want to go up to all of them, and though I’m not rich by any means — I want to help them. I want to give them healthy food or lend them my ear and figure out a way to make a difference. It always tugs on my heart strings.

Today I am thankful that I have the ability to purchase my lunch and go to the grocery store. I am thankful that although sometimes I feel strapped for cash, my decisions are really about whether to give almond butter a try or to buy organic granola bars. It’s a good Thursday afternoon reminder.

(Photo: Keoni Cabral)

Ponderings

A few things I have learned lately:

1. Managing another person is a learning experience on both sides.

2. Sometimes I take myself too seriously. But life is so much more fun when I don’t.

Example:

Decidedly not fun.

But…

Fun.

3. Before I left for Egypt, I couldn’t imagine what it would even feel like to get off the plane. Me? In Africa? At the Great Pyramid, or let alone any of the seriously ancient temples? I couldn’t fathom it. That trip is still so surreal, but now I can’t imagine not going there.

Are you paying attention to the news? I was standing in Tahrir Square just five months ago. My time there connected me so deeply to the belief that regardless of nationality or locale, we need to pay attention. I include myself when I say this: Americans are notoriously guilty for their limited worldviews. The world is big, but so, so small. I can’t wait to experience more.

4. On a related note, I’ve been ruminating on a sentiment my sister has said many times, “Some people choose to spend their money on fancy shoes. I choose to spend my money on experiences.” Yes.

5. “Shits” is a valid word in Words With Friends. Triple word score for that one!

6. Craziest thing ever, ever: these fish are born female and then metamorphose (that is the coolest word ever – only took me three tries to get the exact verbage right!)  into males when they’re 7 or 8 years old.

That’s right. I’ll let you ponder that for a minute. BECAUSE THAT IS CRAZY!!!! And I am not one to throw around exclamation points. Honestly, it blows my mind. Life! Hah! Holy hosannah.

7. Bridesmaids is the best movie of the year.

Lately

I’ve been scuba diving every month.

Hockey season started back up.

My sister and her husband visited San Diego. I surprised my brother-in-law with tickets to see Anthony Bourdain for his birthday. Basically, I’m the best sister ever.

(Want to hear about their trip and the rest of their travels? Check out their blog.)

We celebrated Halloween in style.

And this past weekend, my boyfriend and I saw our fifth? sixth? Jack’s Mannequin show together. Aww.

I love the zoo*

… and petting things.

*You know you’ve been playing too much Words With Friends when you get excited to write the word zoo because it’s at least a 12-point word.

The power went out and I got pissed

Last Thursday was one of the more stressful days I’ve had lately.

In case you didn’t hear, many parts of Southern California got a taste of the Amish life for a good 12 hours.

I’m a joy to be around normally, but let me tell you, I was a gosh darn bundle of fun that day.

Here’s why:

• I was working on an important project when my computer fizzled and shut down.
• There were no working street lights.
• My ancient car (affectionately named Glenda) has no air conditioning.
• I’m pretty sure the heat index was 200 degrees outside. Inside Glenda, it was at least 350 and I didn’t bring any cookie dough to work that day.
• Big Brother didn’t record.
• I had just gone grocery shopping! Ayyy! And not simple picking-up-a-few-items grocery shopping — very in depth grocery shopping involving organic and frozen food.

My complaining is attractive, right?

I know how silly it all sounds — it really could have been a lot worse. I wasn’t stuck in elevator or camped out on the side of the road because I ran out of gas. Nothing really happened at all.  But man, last week was surreal.

I think I’m really just bummed that I couldn’t bake cookies in my car.

A summer smattering

What happened to summer? Suddenly it’s September 7th and I can’t for the life of me remember what happened to all of July.

One of my aspirations is to be better at living in the moment. Apparently I’ve gotten pretty good at it–perhaps too good, because after the moment is over? Nada. Nothing. Can’t remember what happened. Perhaps that is actually called becoming braindead, but maybe that’s an issue to explore another time.

Because I want to remember the details: behold, a recap of Summer 2011.

I spent a lot of time here. I encountered my first real bout with seasickness. There was an abundance of scuba diving, and on one trip I did six dives during one weekend. I felt like a warrior and earned my Adventure Diver and Deep Diver certifications. There are still several more to go, but if I hear anyone talk about scuba diving for the next month, I’m going to impale myself with a cactus.

Also in Catalina: lots of visits to Big Olaf’s, a ghost tour with my boyfriend’s cousins, and discovering that I bought a random buffalo magnet weeks after we got back.

Oh yeah, I went to Egypt for two weeks. I rode a camel with my mom at the Pyramids of Giza, cruised the Nile, went on a hot air balloon rise at sunset over the Valley of the Kings, saw King Tut’s underpants (for real), and went scuba diving (CACTUS) in the Red Sea. I can’t believe all of that happened and it has really expanded my worldview. And mostly increased my habit of thinking, “Silly Americans!”at any given moment.

I got a San Diego Zoo membership. It is the best.

My dad visited and we went on a harbor cruise, ate out a lot, and went to an Angels/Rangers game.

Went to two weddings. One of them included donut holes and Mexican food.

Took a little jaunt to Ensenada.

Went to Chicago for work.

My grandma passed away. Traveled home and to Louisiana and everything felt surreal. It was really good to visit my old stomping grounds, despite the sad circumstances.

Hung out a lot with these dorks.

Had a Project Runway marathon with a friend.

Became really fulfilled at work.

Went to the Pageant of the Masters in Laguna Beach. It was even more amazing than I expected.

Didn’t eat near enough watermelon and hot dogs. Aye. Probably my one regret.

In all: a super busy summer–but the good kind of busy. When it’s not until you take a breath and look back that you realize how much fun you had.

Cheers!

 

DK & JH

This past weekend, I attended a friend’s wedding and I haven’t stopped reeling from how gosh darn charming the whole thing was. The couple chose to do things in a non-traditional way, and hello,  I am all about non-traditional…stuff, so I was in heaven.

They chose a beautiful location in Old Town San Diego. It overlooked the bay, local landmarks, and the Pacific Ocean.

There was Mexican food. And donut holes.

The groom did a rendition of Baby Got Back.

Nothing was pretentious.

Here’s some proof of the awesome-osity:

Clearly ready to party. It’s all in the shades.

Lots of personal details: from the chalkboard seating chart, to the fabric squares for guests to sign that will be sewn into a quilt, to the handmade fans to stave off the late August heat.

Another personal element? There was no minister or religious element to the ceremony. Instead, the bride’s best friend gave a nostalgic speech about the couple, their friends read a Dr. Seuss poem, and they recited their own vows.

Ah, the food. There were chips and salsa, margaritas, and a taco bar. I didn’t get any pictures of that because I was too busy snarfing.

Oh, and bless me — the desserts. Behold the tasteful bowl of donut holes among the cupcakes and other deliciousness!

Ack! I also shrunk a good three inches! Or, you know, I didn’t have the forethought to think that standing on different stairs was not the best angle.

Open bars are key.

Switching it up with a black & white view of the tables on the patio. One of my favorite summer activities is eating outdoors.

It makes me pensive.

Doesn’t it kind of look like I’m contemplating the tiny palm tree?

Love.